~ The Correct Combination Was... ~

65. 69. 73. 21. 87. 88. 99. 90. 76. 10. 42.

These numbers, and many more, were just some of the correct combinations in my mini adventure that I like to call: Chests.

Firstly, We should familiarise ourselves with the term "Chest", as it can be taken or expressed in a number of ways:

"Adventure? C-chests? No thanks." - Aeyze: Casket Expert.
"Chest? :£ More like. urface!" - Rebme: Dickhead.
"omg it was 51. Fucking chest I said 53." - Jkun: Rage Machine.

As you can see, chests contain an abundance of negativity, silliness, and anger. Let's go into more detail, shall we?

Certain zones contain chests that can either be blue, or brown. Blue chests are discarded faster than your mum's savings at a Debenham's sale. They contain temporary items. Worthless pish posh, I say what what jolly good pip pip.

Brown chests, however, contain the holy grail, the second coming, the elixer of life. Sort of. 99% of the time, you will find trash. Kazham Peppers, Silver Obis, Shit, Ores, Wool, Sand, Cuir Highboots, Threads, Air. Okay so they have Elixers too, but they're not Elixers of LIFE.

However, for the lucky adventurers, for the very very very lucky adventurers, each zone contains one R/Ex piece of equipment that is kickass at low level, and shite everywhere else.

...BUT WAIT A SECOND IT'S NOT THAT EASY, NOPE. Each brown chest is locked.

By a demon.

called...

CaptainfuckingfaggotballsIV.

Okay, no really. But it may aswell be. These locked chests require you to enter a 2 digit number that is guessed through the power of deduction, using 4-6 shitty clues. Believe me, IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE 4. IF YOU SEE A CHEST CONTAINING 6 CHANCES THEN YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY BROKEN THE GAME AND YOU SHOULD CALL A GM BECAUSE THAT CHEST BELONGS IN FUCKING JAIL.

Anyway, here are some examples of bad clues:



As we can see, they are bad clues. Did I tell you they're bad clues? They're pretty bad.

Clues.

GOOD clues could be:

You have a hunch one of the digits is 6.
You have a hunch one of the digits is 8.

THAT WAY, YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE. But clues such as these are actually incredibly rare, so don't expect them.

Plus I just made them up.



Teehee.

So, in short: WHY THE FUCK DID I SPEND 20~ HOURS DOING THIS? What possessed me to constantly log in, and hammer away at mobs praying for a brown chest that might actually contain something? I'll tell you what:

SPITE.

I needed to justify wasting my time on these chests, and even if the rewards are fucking mediocre, I have something to show for it:

1/115 Opened chests.

Fuck yeah Acc+5 for level caps and Valoredge-only figh--

God damn they're so fucking...boring.

1/56 Opened chests.

They came as part of a fucking set. WHICH MEANT EVEN MORE CHESTS...

1/45 Opened chests.

rofl @ stats for my DurkaDurka. But I only got them for looks.

...Shame they just barely match anything, except maybe Ares a bit. Oh well. Clankity clank~!

So yes. I don't ever want to touch a chest again. I actually dream about them. I dream about 4 chance chests with shitty clues. I dream about a single mob dropping 2 brown chests as I jump for glee. HOWEVER, I MUST LEARN TO PUT IT ALL BEHIND ME. I MUST FREE MYSELF ASWELL AS THE DELIGHTFUL FRIENDS WHO HELPED ME PAINSTAKINGLY OBTAIN THESE PIECES OF SHIT FROM THEIR EVIL, BLACK, GRASP.

(Thank you Reb, Ze, and most of all E100 because he stayed for the whole show unlike you two fucking slackheads.)

And so, I wish anyone who seeks out these chests the best of luck.

...BECAUSE YOU'LL FUCKING NEED IT LOL, GOD DAMN, AND LIKE FUCK I'M GOING TO HELP YOU, DO IT YOURSELF AND SUFFER LIKE G DID.